Waking Up

Just a few months ago, everything was amazing. Not perfect, but really, really good. I was in love. I still am. I thought he loved me back, but I was stupid and naive. I regret it now. Because I let myself dream and hope and wish and plan. I thought up our childrens names-Grace, Cole, Isabel and Clara-but now I'm finally waking up. Waking up to reality. It feels like my whole life before now has been seen through a child's rose-tinted vision-or scarlet glasses if you will-like I've been dreaming, never really thinking I needed to plan for the future, or learn maths or things like that, that I would be a child forever. And now I'm waking up and the world is big, and scary and its gonna crush me.